In many places around the world, the social stigma of being a widow condemns women and girls to social isolation and poverty. Without inheritance rights to a husband’s property or financial assets, such as the case in Tanzania, the death of a husband can throw women and their children into poverty. Life for widows around the world can mean a life amongst the most vulnerable in society.
Dr. Eleanor Nwadinobi, an international gender and human rights consultant, asked us to reflect on what we mean when we say that we want to “empower” widows. For widows, she said, increasing their knowledge about their legal rights, along with educational and economic opportunities are crucial to empowerment. “Without education, they are stuck in menial jobs, trapped in a cycle of poverty,” she said.
While the importance of empowerment during widowhood is crucial, the panel also spoke of the need to educate and change the social norms before a woman loses a spouse. In many societies, women are raised and conditioned to understand and aspire to marry because it ensures economic stability and social standing. “May you be married forever,” is a typical wedding blessing said to women in some places in India, said Meera Khana, one of the panelists who has worked with widows and underprivileged women in Kashmir. Contrary to this blessing, women are not married forever, and when their spouses pass, women can quickly become marginalized. Meanwhile, mens' wedding blessings feature wishes for their prosperity and future ambitions, Khana said.
However, the speakers noted that the problem is not simply society’s treatment of widows, but the forced “marriages” of children to older men. In Nigeria, girls were kidnapped and married to Boko Haram militants. Some of these girls had already been widows before from previous marriages. After the militants were killed, these girls then carried “layers of widowhood.” This social stigma of widowhood, along with psychological and physical trauma of their forced “marriages”, faced already at such a young age, highlights the urgency of addressing child “marriages”. I add quotes to this word because, as Dr. Nwandinobi said, forcing children into relationships with men is not a “marriage”, as this word, which suggests a more positive connotation, masks the reality of these tragedies.
In order to empower and heal these children, who have been cast aside by society, we need to also ensure adequate trauma counseling.
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